Category: tips

Posted in Humor, Life, tips

Life’s Essentals

Posted on by Kylie
Life Essentials
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It is common knowledge that my opinions and advice are sought the world over. Presidents, the smart ones, have called to seek the level-headedness that only I can offer. Owls stop hooting when I walk past, because they know they have been overshadowed by my genius.

Ok, I’m full of shit. I do often think about what makes up the best parts of my life. The little things that I look forward to or the big items that make my life worth living. I’m not talking about family or loved ones because that is an obvious given and the main driving force in my galaxy.

I’m speaking of the other things. The ones people take for granted or minimize as being trivial, despite the impact they bring. I want to practice gratefulness and honor these subjects of my affection.

A Best Friend

There is nothing more valuable than a best friend or friends. We all need someone other than our family or spouse to lean on, vent to, or make trouble with. I am lucky to have several best friends from childhood and a few new friends I couldn’t do without.

Romance/Desire

Everyone needs to feel wanted and desired. It is not a need, but it sure feels like one sometimes. We all love the rush of falling in love. Being pursued makes us feel worthy in a way that other things cannot. It fades and is not the most important thing in a relationship, but desire can be ignited if parties try hard enough.

Men also need to feel desired. They get tired of having to do all the pursuing and appreciate the feeling of knowing they are wanted, just as we do.

High Thred Count Sheets

Some people, particularly men, don’t care about this, but I consider it to be one of life’s greatest luxuries. There’s nothing better than getting in to a bed with clean sheets on after you have just shaved your legs. Men, if you haven’t tried this you need to give it a try one time at least.

Hygiene Materials

No one, especially women and young ladies, should have to go without the proper access to hygienic materials. In some countries,some women are still banished to a period hut during their cycle. Sitting there alone for 3 to 7 days, they free bleed with no access to anything for pain or cleanliness.

Here in America, there are countless women who can’t afford the monthly materials for their menstruation. If we can throw condoms at teenagers, we should be able to supply sanitary supplies to our young ladies and women.

Emotional/Creative Release

We all need an outlet to express our emotions and/or creativity. My outlet, first and foremost, is humor and sarcasm. Writing is a close second. Without these, I would either be the most angry, frustrated woman in America or the most boring. Either way, I don’t want to live my life like that.

Humor

I can’t imagine getting through life without a sense of humor. Humor alone has gotten me through the very worst moments of my life. It helps that I have the sense of humor is a 12 and a boy. There’s literally nothing I cannot find to laugh about. Some of it’s not funny at all

Unconditional love

Otherwise known as a mother. Everyone needs that soft place to land. They need that one person who is always there no matter what. Someone that will go to battle for them whether they need the backup or not.

Everyone needs to feel like a priority to someone, sometimes.

This is my list of things I believe that people need. Obviously, I could keep on listing a lot more. Life‘s necessities are subjective. For instance, Gold Bond powder is not a big deal to me. That doesn’t take away from all the men that have sweaty balls, though. We see you, men. But this is not your list, is it?

Posted in Cleaning, Life, tips

Grandma’s Greatest Disappointment

Posted on by Kylie
Grandma’s Disappointment With My Cleaning Skills
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I am not a good housekeeper. Not according to my mother and her mother’s standards anyway. Compared to most of the rental properties I have to inspect, I am a regular Martha Stewart minus the felonies. Cleaning standards are varied according to whoever is judging whom at that minute. These nagging opinions didn’t really bother me until I got left a bottle of Clorox in my grandma’s will.

I’m not begrudging that Clorox now because we are in a pandemic and it is very hard to find. Who’s laughing now, cousin Bobby?

Over the years I have learned many tips and tricks about cleaning. Tips learned for the soul purpose of making cleaning go easier, faster, and without much effort being involved.

Q-Tip

This little ear cleaning device can be used in a thousand different ways. It is the perfect size to get the dust out of crevices and tiny items. I love to use this to clean my air return vents. Most people don’t think about those, but I am not most people.

Magic Eraser

I don’t know what material this is made out of. If I had to guess, I would say a cloud. Whatever it is, it is an absolute lifesaver. That shit will get the dirt off of anything. You can clean walls with it. You can clean trash cans with it. You can clean the inside of your refrigerator with it. I’ve never tried it, but you could probably clean your kid with it.

Salt

Salt can make cleaning cast iron a breeze. Sprinkle dirty pan liberally with salt. Let it sit at least fifteen minutes and then scrub the gunk right off! I could write a book on cast iron. But I won’t today.

You can also sprinkle salt on a rust stain on the carpet. Pour hot water over the salt coated stain. Wait fifteen minutes or more and then the stain will blot right out.

Newspaper

Although this will be obsolete many years from now, I’ll be set because my stepfather was the editor of the paper and has hoarded about 10 years’ worth of papers.

My grandmother always said that they were good for cleaning mirrors, but I could not get them to not cause streaks or prevent the ink from transferring. But I do use it as a cleaning tool for any outside work that I need to do. That includes cleaning my front porch railings, my rocking chairs, my side tables, and my planters. I know you’re thinking I’m a huge old bore right now, but I do know how to good have a good time, I promise.

Baking Soda

My grandmother swore by it, but I really can’t say it works. However, Mammaw, I keep baking soda in my fridge to kill odors and I also sprinkle down my drains.

I’m not cleaning my floors with a toothbrush. I just don’t care that much.

Vinegar

I’m not gonna lie. This stuff stinks. End it stinks regardless of apple cider variety or any other kind. You just cannot make a flavor strong enough to get past the stink of vinegar.

However, it cleans amazingly and can be used to clean all kinds of stuff. I’ve heard of people to actually only use vinegar and use it to clean everything. I don’t because I can’t stand the smell. I don’t want my house smelling like a douche.

But if you’re judging something as far as usefulness goes, vinegar can be used for more than cleaning. It can be used for pickling, lice removal, bug spray, etc.

I hope my Mammaw’s cleaning tips will help you. Maybe she will be prouder of you than me.

Posted in Depression, Life, tips

The Brightest Smiles

Posted on by Kylie
Signs and symptoms of depression
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Though emotional, she will smile through extraordinary darkness

Kylie

They hold the darkness without complaint and seem only to want to make others laugh and smile. No one notices when they go quiet or they assume them to always be happy and upbeat

I used to fight the depression. I would tell myself to carry my burdens through the darkness and come out harder with the world. I would sleep constantly to feel the attachment I only experienced while in my dreams. My sadness would cause visible irritation to my loved ones, so I pushed it down and away. I slept and bore this cross alone.

Eventually, I would start to awaken and to feel the emotions offered. In a few weeks, I would barely remember my head against the pillow and my presence being unstable.

Don’t disregard the friends that smile all the time. Don’t ignore the ones who laugh and never talk about their problems. They may need you the most. You’re probably asking how you are to know if no one says anything. I just like to assume everyone needs a friend and be available as often as possible.

Very rarely will you get a direct suicide threat or something concrete to go off of. You have to trust your instincts and be attuned to the feelings of the people that are around you.

Be Consistent

Be a consistent friend. Life gets in everyone’s way sometimes, but we have to put effort into our friendships just like we do any other relationship to maintain it. Don’t go weeks without a check-in via text, call, or in person. Everyone needs to know they are loved and valued. One-sided friendships, where one person does all, or the majority of the communicating and plan-making, are depressing and unfair to the person doing everything. One person should not have to carry the entire weight of a relationship on their shoulders alone.

Be Human

People need others like them around that they can relate to. Not the ones that have an image to maintain or ones that act like Stepford wives. Talk to them about your own experiences that may relate to theirs. Share your struggles and your triumphs. Be the example that things do get better. Make sure they understand that the light is the brightest right after the darkness.

Don’t Be Condescending

Do not insult people with platitudes especially during hard times. That is the last thing anybody wants to hear. Don’t say that you know how they feel or tell them that tomorrow is another day. If all you know are generic platitudes, then just listen. Often times, listening is what they need the most. A listening ear is way more valuable than someone giving unsolicited advice on how to fix a situation they know nothing about personally.

Don’t Assume

The main thing is not to presume anyone’s emotional state by their outward display. We are taught at a young age, some more than others, to hide the feelings that make others uncomfortable. We are taught that feelings shown is the same as showing your weakness which could not be further from the truth. The brave are the ones that talk about what no one else will.

If you read the stories written by the suicidal, some of them have been saved by a kind word from a stranger or a phone call to a suicide hotline. What you say and do does make a difference. Sometimes, it can make all the difference. Keep your eyes open.

Posted in Family, Ideas, Life, tips

Amazing Home Remedies That Actually Work

Posted on by Kylie
Home Remedy
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As someone with no health insurance, I have become a self-titled expert on home remedies and unusual cures. Some I have found through research, some from recommendations, but most have been handed down in my family throughout the generations.

Thousands of remedies have withstood the test of time by being passed down through the generations of families. Even now, many people distrust the medical profession and think they run it like a business. Meaning that if you keep someone sick or dependent on a medication, you will keep generating a profit. I believe there is some truth to that but, having a chronic illness, I cannot always self-treat. Luckily, I absolutely adore my general practitioner. Much like husbands, for me, I went through a lot of horrible ones before I found him.

Pho

This Vietnamese soup can cure almost anything! When I feel that telltale tickle in my throat or fatigue creeping up, my husband and I immediately phone in a to go order at the closest pho restaurant. I enjoy the chicken noodle pho, but any kind is enough to render a cure.

Mix in all the ingredients, the spicier the better, and consume! After that and a good night’s sleep, you will wake up as if nothing ever happened.

Vicks Vapor Rub

This rub smells as good as it works. Not only can it be used to disguise the smell of rotting flesh, my dad was a funeral home employee, but it can also be rubbed on the heels of your feet and covered with socks to rid you of a stubborn cough. I am tied on if it smells better or the same as Noxema.

It can also provide relief to sunburns.

Tobacco

I’m not encouraging you to take up smoking. When you hear the telltale scream of a wasp or bee sting, take the tobacco out of a cigarette or from a tin of chew and wad up to press on the sting. It takes the sting out almost instantly.

Don’t do like my brother did. When he was younger, he stole a pinch of my grandfather’s snuff and tried to hide it. He didn’t count on turning green and throwing up for a good thirty minutes so he was busted immediately.

Desitin

White crusty lips dried out from being sunburned or windburned get instantly better after a night treatment of Desitin on them. Desitin is a diaper rash ointment and tastes disgusting. Please don’t consume it, but it can clear up sun or wind burned lips faster than anything else I know. The next day, you wake up as good as new.

Crocs (the shoe)

I would just like to throw this one in. Crocs, the shoes not the animal, are absolutely 100% effective as a birth control measure.

Toothpaste

Do you have a massive zit that popped up suddenly before a big date or meeting? Instead of naming it and applying for a birth certificate, dab that baby with some toothpaste before bed. When you wake up, Zitty McZitterson will be but a crusty memory on your face.

I don’t know why but only the use of white toothpaste works for this.

Pickle Juice

Freaks all over the world, including me, love the taste of pickle juice. I hope that any reading this will be happy to know that there are health benefits along with the amazing briny taste! It is amazing, according to word on the street, for cramps and dehydration.

Grocery stores all over the world have caught on to this and now make it as a drink, aka no pickles included, and a popsicle. The world is a wondrous place indeed.

Soap

If you use this bar, you will become clean.

I’m kidding. Actually, I’m not kidding, you will become clean. But that is not where I was going with this. If you put an unwrapped, fresh bar of soap underneath your sheets it somehow causes lamp leg cramps to cease.

Leg cramps, a.k.a. Charlie horses, were a nightly torture for me during all four of my pregnancies. Since I have the best luck in the world, I discovered this remedy at the very end of my last pregnancy. For those that are not fluent in sarcasm, I was being very sarcastic when I stated that I have the best luck in the world.

Banana Peels

In 5th grade, I was plagued with warts all over both of my hands. They were embarrassing and caused me to keep my hands balled up in a fist so no one would look at them. My mother took me to the dermatologist countless times. After each painful treatment to freeze them off, they would grow back and bring a few friends to join them.

The summer after fifth grade, we made the ten hour drive to my Cajun grandmother’s house for our annual visit. It wasn’t long before she noticed my clasped hands.

Grabbing them, she pried them open and was greeted with the sight of 75 warts. Clicking her head and murmuring curses, she grabbed the bananas and started peeling them.

An hour later, my mother was making an army’s worth of banana bread and I had my warts treated. My grandmother put the peels, slimy side down, on my warts and then taped them down with duct tape. She swore that duct tape was the only one that would work. Every day, we changed out the banana peels and duct tape. Within a week, they had almost all gone away. They never came back.

Modern medicine is an amazing thing, but a doctor isn’t always needed. We got by in the past with herbal and homemade treatments and we can still use them for many things.

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Posted in Career, Life, property management, tips, Uncategorized

Maintaining Composure During Heated Situations

Posted on by Kylie
Staying calm at work

Curse words spewed out of my mouth and into the tenant’s face. This wasn’t the first time that I had been pushed to my breaking point by being screamed at, cussed out, and sometimes pushed around. As a landlord, aka property manager, I have many houses to manage all over every part of my city. I have learned how to deal specifically with each section of the public.

There are the elitist tenants who call me every second about everything. They, for the most part, cannot do any home repair items themselves. This includes changing air filters, smoke detector batteries, and resetting tripped breakers. They hide their ignorance by flaunting their money. They have been brainwashed into thinking money is the same as intelligence. They hide their loneliness by talking, whining, and complaining to everyone they meet.

There are the poor tenants who struggle to survive who blame me personally when they can’t pay their rent. They will drive to my office and threaten me if eviction is looming. They never call about maintenance issues unless it is dire because they just want to be left alone and don’t want anyone seeing the messy state of their frantic lives.

There are the young tenants who are living alone for the first time and need help with everything from how to pay rent, use of an online app to submitting a maintenance request.

Then there are the old tenants who live alone or with a spouse listening to the echoes of their children in the halls from years past. They look forward to any contact and will happily chit chat with someone who calls, from telemarketer to me or my staff, for hours.

At any given moment, I can go from being physically pushed and verbally abused to spending half an hour talking with the sweetest little old lady I’ve ever met. It took me a good year to learn how to maintain my composure during these swift emotional transitions. I had to create boundaries and try to stick with them, becoming never too mad, too attached, or too invested in any one person’s circumstance.

Of course, this doesn’t always work and sometimes I lose my footing. I have dropped my professionalism down the tubes and hit back, yelled back, babysat, bought food, bought clothes, and loaned rent money. I have regretted doing this most of the time. I usually end up getting taken advantage of once anyone sees that I have heartstrings to pull. I have people that have turned on me as soon as I helped them.

I would like to think I have learned my lesson, but someone will come along and test my boundaries and find them lacking. Setting boundaries is essential in this line of work, as in many others that deal with the public.

You have to work hard not to become jaded because people lie about anything if it benefits them somehow. My sense of humor and not taking things personally have really been the two biggest things to keep me successful in this career and not burned out and jaded.

I continue to always look for the little acts of human kindness that are shown periodically. That brings fresh air to every one of us. Sometimes those little acts are enough to keep going for.

By setting boundaries, keeping my sense of humor, and searching for human acts of kindness every day, I am able to survive this work and hope that I have made a difference to someone, somewhere along the way.

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Posted in Content, Humor, Ideas, tips

Genius Ideas Shot Down

Posted on by Kylie

Talk first, think later. I have always had this habit and it has gotten me into trouble more times than I care to admit. I’ve been called bold, brazen, and unfiltered when in reality, I am just missing the part of the brain that makes one give two shits about the opinions of others. I also believe creativity is at its best when it is uncensored. I realize the reader may not believe that but, reminder, I am the one writing this article.

I have many unappreciated talents which include mockery, random statistic formulations, extreme sarcasm, and the uncanny ability to say anything with enough confidence and a straight face cool enough to get anyone to believe anything. I am also great at twisting or making up quotes to suit my current agenda. Basically, what I’m saying is I should definitely be President.

I think of myself as being somewhat creative and a self-diagnosed genius, so I am constantly on the lookout for new marketing strategies for my work and my blog. In addition to writing a blog, I am writing a novel and an e-book. This is after I get done with my day jobs which include managing over one hundred and eighty rental properties, listing houses, financial consulting, and credit repair.

I am also a mother to six children, two dogs, two birds, and a turtle. Mosaic making is a hobby of mine I plan to dominate when I’m done with that one guy who writes on Medium.

I won’t lie. I’ve had more great ideas that got shot down than approved by the powers that be. Apparently, risk takers are not appreciated by everyone. Luckily, I believe in myself enough for all of us. I’m not at Trump level, but close.

Beautiful and color filled image of a person with face covered and hands pressed to side of head as if a headache is forming.
Photo by Vinicius “amnx” Amano on Unsplash

A Hard No Is Like a Regular No, but Harder

Picture an online advertisement for my credit repair services. The quote I suggested was, “Your face is not the only thing that needs filtering. See Kylie about giving your credit a new look too!” You see the image of someone that is truly terrible looking, but could be fixed with some filtering or plastic surgery. That was a hard no from my broker. It was one of many over the years

Imagine calling somewhere to conduct business or to make an appointment and being put on hold. Instead of hearing the soothing sounds of soft jazz, you are pleasantly surprised with the motivational sounds of hardcore rap encouraging you to be the best murdering drug dealer you can be. This was also a hard no. We are missing an entire demographic here!

A frowning rapper with an attitude problem.
Photo by Aneesh Mandava on Unsplash

Trying to sell metal detectors with the new name of Corona Detector. My husband did not approve and neither did the people I pitched it on in the elevator that day.

I have a tenant whose first name is General. I thought this was one of the most unbelievably genius names I have ever heard. I immediately approached my husband about getting my first name changed to Doctor. Just as fast, I was once again shut down.

These are just a few of the millions of unbelievably amazing ideas I have had throughout the years. I’m not resentful, but I can’t believe my ideas were trashed when a man made millions of dollars by inventing a pool noodle.

Risk Taking

We have become ingrained in our over-sensitive, politically correct culture and I don’t like it one bit. You have to do something different if you want to be different. The definition of insanity — according to Einstein in one article and definitely not him according to some others — is to do the same thing over and over but expect a different result.

I always tell this to my friends who get in relationships constantly with the same types of crappy men. Think outside of the box. Try something different. It may be the best thing you ever did.

Optimism still seeps out of me alongside every great idea and I just know my time to shine is coming soon.

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