My decision to join the ones I couldn’t beat
The old me, from yesterday, was a nice, spineless idiot. The new version of me will be ruthless and successful by any means necessary, legal or otherwise. Unless it comes down to having to kick a puppy. I’m not doing that.
I would love to make you a list of everything that my integrity has gotten me in my life. But, you literally would be reading a list of nothing. Because, it has gotten me nowhere and nothing at all. Nowhere good, anyway.
I have been an average person my entire life. I’m not beautiful and not ugly. I’m not smart and not dumb. The only thing I excel at is being funny and usually at the expense of my own dignity. In case you’re wondering, there’s not a huge job market for funniness and my boss tends to not fathom sarcasm most of the time.
Despite these issues, I have always worked harder than most others just because I’ve always had to. What I’m trying to say, is that I don’t love working myself to death. And I’m hoping one day I can cut back to 50 hours a week or less.
Failure will never take me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.Og Handino
Average face and IQ aside, I have always had a high moral standard. This is the truth, despite any videos you’ve seen on Facebook or what my face may look like. I most assuredly have resting bitch face, but that does not mean that I’m a bitch or that I ever rest.
I’ve never cheated on anybody and I try to be honest as often as I can be. I’m not a religious person, but I do my part to help people when I can. I try not to be mean to people unless they absolutely provoke it.
My intentions were to lead a life full of laughter and moral integrity. But I have since figured out that if I ever want to get ahead in this shitshow of a life, I need to join the rest of society. They figured out a long time ago that you can only get ahead in life by stepping on the hands of others. So I am going to take my shot at being a douche bag, but I will apologize as I do it.
I could’ve been a gold digging ho and had a much easier life, but I chose to work hard and married two losers out of love instead. I could’ve been not lonely for so many years, but I chose not to cheat. I stayed in a bad marriage for the sake of my family. I could have gone to college on a full scholarship, but I chose to get pregnant at 19.
Yes, I know I’m the product of my own choices. But in my defense, I’ve been making pretty good ones since I was 20, but my life is continuing to not improve alongside of my maturity level. What I mean by my maturity level, is my old age.
Our ability to achieve happiness and success depends on the strength of our wings.Catherine Pulsifer
So many times I could’ve made the choice that would’ve made my life easier, but I said no strictly on the basis of my integrity. Now the clock of death is ticking and I only have so much time to make anything of my life.
So, at the tinder young age of 41, I have finally realized that integrity doesn’t mean shit and nobody cares. I am, as what my son likes to say, woke.
Starting today, I am shoving my integrity up somebody’s butt. I’ll announce the winner later. From now on, if I have to ride people’s backs like a spider monkey to get ahead, I will do it.
As far as my former rule to never snitch on anybody goes, because I didn’t want to get stitches, stitches make for pretty cool scars eventually.
Morals, brutal honesty, and integrity has gotten me two failed marriages, the death of one husband, a lifetime of struggle, debt and chaos. The honesty part has also gotten me written up in HR nineteen times.
But on a lighter note, I can handle stress really well. And you can only go up when you’re at the bottom. I also have a lot of street credibility because I will go ballistic on somebody despite my angelic undertones. You can’t fail harder when you’ve already failed completely.
Today marks a new day in the existence of Kylie. I’m going to be somewhere between the former saintly Kylie and that annoying Kardashian one. I can’t totally throw my morals away all in one sitting. Using hard work and dedication, maybe I’ll actually succeed at quitting my morals.
I am motivated and willing to make the changes needed to one day say that I am a mediocre success instead of an abject failure. Fingers crossed.
Lastly, I would like to point out to my former fifth grade teacher that I am motivating AF. She loved calling me Eeyore because I didn’t walk around smiling like a dumbass all day. So you can suck on that, Mrs. Smith. One day soon, I will show everybody.
So keep an eye out for my name and not in a bad way. But make sure it’s my name, not the Kardashian.
Originally posted on Medium.com.