Posted in Content, Humor, Ideas, Life, Satire

10 Will Ferrell Quotes To Use In Daily Conversations

If you ain’t first, you’re last. Now there are 11 quotes.

Will Ferrell is costume as Buddy the Elf.
Santa!!! I know him!!

Some people worship God and others worship only themselves. Worshiping anyone takes things a little too far for me, but I believe we all should have someone we admire and look up to. Someone we try to emulate. A role model per se.

Even though I am wildly disagreed with, I believe the biggest genius of my generation is Will Ferrell. Please realize most of the people that disagree with my opinion of him are humorless. I realize that his goofy humor may be off putting to some. But as a fellow humor expert, I recognize his desire to change the world through laughter and happiness.

I put together some of his quotes that I like the best whether they be from movies, his Funny or Die skits, or interviews. I am aware that he probably doesn’t write all of this material. However, his delivery of the lines is what makes it funny.

I won’t lie. I have a weird crush on him. I know we would have a great time together if I was drinking and not frozen in awe like a nerd.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

“You sit on a throne of lies!”

ELF

Is there a better way to call someone a liar? I think not.

“You’re my boy, blue!”

Old School

I friggin love you!

Anchorman

“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”

Anchorman

“Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”

Anchorman

I have said this one to my sister so many times that the quote is almost nostalgic for me now.

“Immature is a word that boring people use to describe fun people.”

Will Ferrell

Have truer words ever been spoken?

“Did we just become best friends?”

Stepbrothers

Ok, I admit I say this too much. I say it to anyone that agrees with me about anything.

“Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

Anchorman

Too many people, aka adults, try to tone down excitement about things.

“I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.”

Elf

I also enjoy smiling.

“Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.”

Talladega Nights

I hope that one day I too can piss excellence.


Some people change the world by acts of bravery and others by acts of sacrifice. Some people perform huge acts of kindness and others do small deeds that are never noticed. Will Ferrell and others like him are changing the world with laughter.

I think we can all agree that this world needs more of that right now.


Originally posted on Medium.com

Original article

Posted in Humor

Was COVID Sent Here By Carol Baskin?

Her fire, faux innocence, and obsession with cats was obsessively terrifying. We hung on as a nation to see what dumb stunt would happen next on the Netflix series. We were so transfixed that we couldn’t see it was a distraction from the virus being sprayed on us all. I think I remember hearing the planes that did it.

I know. It sounds like a stretch, but at this point, after this year, anything could have happened. Anything sounds more logical than one guy eating a bat in China that caused the whole world to get sick.

I have decided that Carol Baskin was involved. And, just like any great politician, I will stand by my theory, no matter what any doctor from the CDC says

The Warning Signs

If you watch just the first episode you can see she is clearly fighting for world domination. Now that the Tiger King is out of the way, it is only logical that she would try to take down the rest of us. She won’t stop until it is just her and the cats! Ignoring her blatant mental illness, you can see the crazy anger in her eyes as she sits with a Persian cat and wears a sweater with a cat knitted on it. She thinks of herself as a cat. When I was young, I wanted to be a red crayon, but I let that shit go, Carol! I’m an adult. I know I can’t be a red crayon

Ignore this at your own risk. I tried to warn you. She may look like a harmless, deranged aunt from Ohio, but she is not to be underestimated

Proof

Guess who doesn’t have COVID?

Cats. *drops mic and walks away*

Posted in Content, Humor, Ideas, tips

Genius Ideas Shot Down

Talk first, think later. I have always had this habit and it has gotten me into trouble more times than I care to admit. I’ve been called bold, brazen, and unfiltered when in reality, I am just missing the part of the brain that makes one give two shits about the opinions of others. I also believe creativity is at its best when it is uncensored. I realize the reader may not believe that but, reminder, I am the one writing this article.

I have many unappreciated talents which include mockery, random statistic formulations, extreme sarcasm, and the uncanny ability to say anything with enough confidence and a straight face cool enough to get anyone to believe anything. I am also great at twisting or making up quotes to suit my current agenda. Basically, what I’m saying is I should definitely be President.

I think of myself as being somewhat creative and a self-diagnosed genius, so I am constantly on the lookout for new marketing strategies for my work and my blog. In addition to writing a blog, I am writing a novel and an e-book. This is after I get done with my day jobs which include managing over one hundred and eighty rental properties, listing houses, financial consulting, and credit repair.

I am also a mother to six children, two dogs, two birds, and a turtle. Mosaic making is a hobby of mine I plan to dominate when I’m done with that one guy who writes on Medium.

I won’t lie. I’ve had more great ideas that got shot down than approved by the powers that be. Apparently, risk takers are not appreciated by everyone. Luckily, I believe in myself enough for all of us. I’m not at Trump level, but close.

A Hard No Is Like a Regular No, but Harder

Picture an online advertisement for my credit repair services. The quote I suggested was, “Your face is not the only thing that needs filtering. See Kylie about giving your credit a new look too!” You see the image of someone that is truly terrible looking, but could be fixed with some filtering or plastic surgery. That was a hard no from my broker. It was one of many over the years

Imagine calling somewhere to conduct business or to make an appointment and being put on hold. Instead of hearing the soothing sounds of soft jazz, you are pleasantly surprised with the motivational sounds of hardcore rap encouraging you to be the best murdering drug dealer you can be. This was also a hard no. We are missing an entire demographic here!

A frowning rapper with an attitude problem.
Photo by Aneesh Mandava on Unsplash

Trying to sell metal detectors with the new name of Corona Detector. My husband did not approve and neither did the people I pitched it on in the elevator that day.

I have a tenant whose first name is General. I thought this was one of the most unbelievably genius names I have ever heard. I immediately approached my husband about getting my first name changed to Doctor. Just as fast, I was once again shut down.

These are just a few of the millions of unbelievably amazing ideas I have had throughout the years. I’m not resentful, but I can’t believe my ideas were trashed when a man made millions of dollars by inventing a pool noodle.

Risk Taking

We have become ingrained in our over-sensitive, politically correct culture and I don’t like it one bit. You have to do something different if you want to be different. The definition of insanity — according to Einstein in one article and definitely not him according to some others — is to do the same thing over and over but expect a different result.

I always tell this to my friends who get in relationships constantly with the same types of crappy men. Think outside of the box. Try something different. It may be the best thing you ever did.

Optimism still seeps out of me alongside every great idea and I just know my time to shine is coming soon.

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Posted in Humor

Loving Yourself Even Though You’re A Little Bitch

What is self love exactly? I hear about it on the near constant basis, but I’m not sure how you cannot love or at least tolerate yourself as you are stuck with you forever. I will be the first to admit that I get on my damn nerves sometimes. I can be very annoying and aggressive. When I’m joking, a lot of times, people can’t tell that I’m joking, which makes it funnier for me but awkward for them.

I used to be a very shy person that lacked confidence or self-esteem. Now, I’m outgoing, confident, and I love myself even though I can be a huge assh*&e sometimes. I don’t know for sure how I changed or what caused it but after thinking about it, I wrote down some items I do that may have contributed to my increase in self-worth.

Laugh

Find a reason to laugh. We all have flaws and, though mine are annoying, when I compare them to other’s they aren’t so bad. I know I’m a good person and not a douche nugget like so many others I know.

Be your own biggest fan

Celebrate your own damn accomplishments. If no one else is proud of you, or even if they are, celebrate yourself! For example, I got tired of waiting for my family and friends to recognize my achievements. I started buying myself a treat anytime I accomplished a big goal and I also gave my own horn a couple of toots on social media as well. It turns out that I can live pretty easily without the approval of others.

Dress up, hussy up, and show up

There are days I don’t want to get up, or work a sixty hours a week, or parent but I drag myself out of bed. Then I dress up, slap makeup on, put on some accessories and go do what I don’t want to. Once I am looking better, I start feeling better. I tend to feel how I look.

Physical Activity

This has always been the bane of my existence. I am an outdoor girl but I absolutely hate exercise. I have found that if I do something active and heart pumping that I can count that as exercise. So, I’ll take a walk with my dogs, clean up around the house, go fishing, or go help my parents. Then I don’t feel like I am exercising, but I am still being active which makes me feel better overall.

Skincare Routine

I maintain a skin care routine, morning and night most of the time. I will wash my face, tone it, apply moisturizer, eye cream, and oil treatment. It sounds trivial, but it makes me feel cleaner and ready for sleep or the day ahead. I call it my spa sessions.

Hobby/Creative Outlet

Ever since my former therapist recommended creativity as an outlet for me over a decade ago, I have always dabbled in an art or hobby of some kind. At the moment, it is mosaics, gardening, journaling, and writing. I don’t know if it is an outlet, but I enjoy it and don’t intend to stop anytime soon. I know I’m not an artist, but I feel proud of myself when I create something.

Not everyone is capable of seeing the beauty and worth inside of them, but the rest of us do already.