Posted in Cleaning, Life

9 Valuable Hacks To Make Cleaning Absolutely Easy

We have to clean, but we don’t have to like it

A woman points her clorox bleach cleaner at dirt and grime.
Clorox bleach is the shizzle

More cleaning tips and hacks from the laziest housekeeper in America or, quite possibly, the world. You are welcome in advance. If there is a lazy, fast way to clean something, I’ll find out about it. And then, I’ll write an article about it.

There are actually some people who enjoy cleaning. There are also weirdos that love going to the dentist. I enjoy the results, but not the action. That’s why I am always on the lookout for shortcuts. Other times, I just try to find a hiding spot or fake an injury of some nature.

1. Clean narrow vases, bottles, and other odd shaped items by filling them with hot water and dropping in a tablet of denture cleaner. At a certain age, especially in the south, we all inherit or buy knick knacks. I’m sure it’s no different in the other parts of the United States. Take your knicks, gather your knacks and throw them in a bucket of hot water with a few denture cleaners in it. Bam! Knick knacks are clean. Repeat for paddywacks. Finish, by giving dog a bone.

2. Garbage disposals stink like rotten food and trash cans if you don’t clean them. There are a lot of different ways to clean disposals. I tend to alternate between baking soda and putting lemon/lime rinds in to deodorize and freshen. Working in property management for the last twenty years I can assure you, without a doubt, that 90% of society do not know how to use a garbage disposal properly.

3. I hate grapefruit. When God was making that fruit I know he was planning a prank on someone. It looks delicious. It tastes like my ex-husband’s soul. But it does come in handy for scrubbing tubs and showers. Cut one in half because, let’s face it, no one will eat that on purpose. Sprinkle it with salt. I like to use Kosher because it is not as fine. Then scrub away those stubborn stains!

4. Some carpet stains can be removed with vodka. I like to share the vodka with the stain. I have fun and the stain gets removed!

5. Is your sink stained with rust or soap gunk? Clean it after pouring on a solution of coke and cologne. Mix about 1/2 and 1/2, it won’t take a large quantity, spray and wipe it up. I would not recommend using $100 bottle of cologne for this. But this article is not about finances, so do what you want to.

6. I hate cleaning ovens. It is, by far, my least favorite chore for a number of reasons. I try to make it less strenous on my forty year old back by removing the oven racks and putting them in the tub to soak in oven cleaner for a few hours.

7. You can remove water marks from the glass shower door by cleaning them with shaving cream. Shave your legs, or whatever may need shaving, and then clean the shower. I love things that are able to be used in multiple ways!

8. WD-40 is fantastic at getting out blood and other tough stains from carpet or any fabric at all. it comes in very handy if you have a family full of teenage boys. Grease and blood seems to be a constant with red dirt thrown in.

9. Run a few denture tablets through a coffee pot to clean the buildup and excess grossness that is hiding in places you haven’t even thought about looking yet.


I hope these tips will help you do this with half the effort. I know I put almost no effort in anything. Especially since turning forty. I’ve also started shouting, “Get off of my lawn!” sporadically.

If you know of any other good tips, please feel free to share them with me!


Posted in Humor, Life

Amazing Tested Responses For Rejecting Dumb Pick Up Lines

When a simple no will not suffice

A man flicks the bird to a woman rejecting his advances.
Unsplash

I like the smell of the autumn air, the taste of wine, the sound of a baby laughing, and the sight of a douchebag getting put in his place. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a mean or evil person. But, as someone with a vagina, I get tired of unsolicited advances. I won’t lie about taking some pleasure in rejecting the unwanted pick up lines and attempts with the following amazing responses.

I do not send one signal out that I am interested in being picked up or even that I know how to smile. And, yet, the creepiest creepers this side of the Mason Dixon line will find me like a beacon in the night. My messenger is ridiculous with the amount of unsolicited creeps that fill it up constantly.

I also enjoy savagely rejecting men or women who try to pick me up with ridiculous pick up lines. I call them my anti-pick up lines. I’ve learned a few of them from other people, some online, and others are complete originals created on the spot by yours truly.

Take the following scenarios and make them work according to your actual situation.


Him: Can I buy you a drink?

Me: I’d rather just have the cash.

Him: Do you come here often?

Me: Yes. I’ve been waiting for the man of my dreams to come to me and now you’re here. Let me grab my six kids out of my van and we will go back to my place.

Him: Do you want to come to my place Saturday?

Me: Sorry. My explosive diarrhea is happening on Saturday.

Him: Can I get your digits? (This is slang for asking for your phone number)

Me: Sure (give him local STD clinic phone number)

Him: He texts you a picture of his penis,otherwise known as a d**k pic.

Me: Why are you sending me pictures of little boy’s penises?! I am calling the police, you are a disgusting perv!

Him: It’s 2020. Don’t be afraid to ask me out.

Me: Okay. Would you do me the honor of exiting the building as quickly as possible?


I hope these responses will help you as much as they have helped me. There is something liberating about turning the tables on unwanted and dumb advances. Maybe if we take a stand, we can actually bring back manners. Or at least a class on clear signs that someone is open to advances. Or, if I”m completely delusional, maybe we can start a new trend with romantic undertones instead of creepy ones.


Posted in Finance, Life, money

My 7 Favorite Dave Ramsey Tips

I wish I could be his obnoxious, female equivalent

Beautiful artwork that resembles money.

Almost everybody knows who Dave Ramsey is. No, he’s not Jon Benet’s father. I’m talking about Dave Ramsey, financial expert and advisor extraordinaire. He is the financial world’s equivalent to Dr. Phil. He is able to convey financial and money matters in a way that all who hear it can understand it.

I wish I could be the female version of Ramsey. But, alas, I am not eloquent and I like to party a little too much. So, in his honor, I would like to share my favorite Dave Ramsey tips.

1. Open, fill, and maintain an emergency fund in case you lose your job or a catastrophe happens. This is typically three months of living expenses.

2. The power of focusing. Pay off one small debt at a time instead of trying to do all of them or multiple ones at once. This is called, according to Dave, a debt snowball. It is a lot less stressful and a lot more feasible than trying to pay off everything at one time.

3. Use cash to pay for everything. If you can’t afford to pay cash, you can’t afford it. Credit should be saved for emergency situations.

4. Invest 15% in retirement. Unfortunately, I cannot allocate that much, but I hope to be able to get there soon. I would love to go back and slap younger me for not starting earlier.

5. Live poor now so you can live rich later.

6. Never, ever buy a new car. They depreciate as soon as you drive off of the lot. This is just not a smart move at all, financially. In all fairness, my dad taught me this long before Ramsey did.

7. Pay off your mortgage early. That’s one less debt you will have upon retiring.

Dave Ramsey is a favorite of mine because he doesn’t over complicate things. Sometimes, it really is as simple as it sounds.

You can see from the above tips how easily you can change your life and your finances. After taking the first step in the right direction, the next steps come much easier. Take the first step towards being debt free.

Posted in Career, Humor, Life

How To Know You’re Successful

The Subtle Signs Of Success

Yellow mustard or Dijon? I think you know the answer to that question

Success is a stalker. He eases up behind you without any notice if you’re not paying attention. And you won’t be paying attention because, to gain success, you’ll be hard at work.

Sometimes, we are so hard at work we don’t notice the signs of success starting to surround us. I am here to bring awareness to those signs as they show up, as subtle as they may be.

Money

The first sign of success will be that you have money in your account instead of zero or negative. You may even have CASH in your wallet. This is often the most blatant sign and is usually pretty clear. But I am not immune to the fact that some of my readers are not very smart. I’m doing what I can to spell out even this very big, blatant sign of success for you.

Sugar

Shortly after starting to succeed, you will notice a change in your sugar. Suddenly, loose sugar just doesn’t cut it anymore. You will only take your sugar in cubes. This does make baking hard, I won’t lie. You might even find yourself shopping for a crystal bowl to store your cubes

Taste Buds

You will no longer taste things the same once you experience success. Yellow mustard won’t cut it anymore. You will have to have a Dijon blend. You sure as hell won’t eat catfish anymore. It will only be a bland white fish. Your water will have to be sparkling. You will find a ding-dong, either kind, at the gas station, disgusting.

You will actually get offended when people offer you the condiments of the peasants. Try to keep that reigned in. Nobody likes an asshole, successful or not.

Pronunciation

I’m sure by now you’ve already guessed that when you become successful you will start pronouncing things differently. The first thing is you will call a vase a vaz. You will sound classy as f**k.

A potato will be pronounced a potah-toe.

Target will be Tarjay.

Don’t fight it. You’ll only end up looking foolish.

Clothing

You will always look like you are going sailing. It doesn’t matter where you live or what you are actually going to do. It will always look like you are going sailing.


I hope these tips help you as much as they have not helped me. Since, I’m not successful. Obviously.

Posted in Ideas, Life, life lessons, love, Marriage, Relationships, tips

Ways To Find A Person Worthy Of Your Love

How I met an amazing man after two awful marriages

A young couple enjoying romance and true love on a beautiful beach.
Art By Author using www.canva.com

After two horrible marriages, I was absolutely determined never to fall in love again. My heart was battered and bruised and I had my children to raise alone. I was also financially devastated since neither one of my husbands had ever opted to pay child-support.

People with similar values, lifestyles, and goals will find each other. It is as if our hearts are radars that search each other out in the dark. This works for the bad as well, I would think.As much as this is true, it is hard to find people that have the same exact beliefs as someone else does. It is even harder to find someone that is worthy of your love. It seems to get harder the older you get. Or maybe you just put up with less.

After dating and marrying two men that could not have been much worse for me, I finally found a love worthy of my heart. I just got remarried for the third and final time. I found a man that treats me like a Queen. He puts up with enormous amounts of my shenanigans. He is everything that I never thought really existed. He is stable and responsible. He is the peace to my flame.

I was not looking for love. I wasn’t trying to find him or anyone else. I was not dating at all. I was focusing on myself, my children, and my future after a traumatizing second marriage. It turns out things can go from bad to worse, as I learned in that second marriage.

People ask me all the time how I got so lucky to meet such a good man. They obviously don’t know about my first marriage or my second. This made me think about what I had done differently this time. I also took a closer look at some of the other people I knew that were lucky enough to find true love.

Social events can serve a purpose

As for my happy ending, I met my amazing husband through my neighbor at a cookout. My neighbor had been trying for a while to set me up with this friend of his, but I just wasn’t interested in dating at the time. I actually had no intentions of ever dating again much less getting married.

I went to the cookout, at my next door neighbor’s house, more out of boredom than anything. I knew some friends would be there and needed an excuse to socialize with some wine. Suddenly, my neighbor walks up alongside this tall man and I knew instantly what was going on. I was not interested, but I wasn’t rude. We chatted for a moment and then it was time to eat. He wandered inside to get his plate.

A few minutes later, he reappeared and I was shocked to see that he had made me a plate and had brought it to me along with a chair. He had even buttered my corn. Fast forward to now. We are married, I am madly in love, and we still say he won me by buttering my corn.

Not all people online are creeps

Believe it or not, two of my favorite married couples both met on Match.com. This really surprised me. I had always thought online dating or apps like Tinder were for just hook ups. I was wrong. I was told most people that are serious about finding love go to the paid sites. The people that are just looking for hook ups go to the free sites such as Tinder. Don’t kill the messenger, that’s just what I was told.

Schools and dog parks have plenty of similarities

90% of the couples I questioned met in school. They either met in high school or in their college years. They all have been together ever since. Personally, I am glad I did not meet my soul mate that early because I was able to have a little bit of fun before my life turned into a total disaster.

One couple I interviewed met at a dog park. Their dogs actually connected first. This is my favorite story of the people I asked. It reminds me of something straight out of a romantic comedy. Once they started talking, they bonded immediately and exchanged phone numbers. He called her that night. They have seen each other every day since then. Only six months later, they were engaged. Eighteen months later, they were married. And ten years later, they are still married.

Weddings don’t have to suck

Going to a wedding does not always have to be awful and soul crushing. One couple that I questioned met at a wedding of a mutual friend. They both contemplated seriously not attending. They are still astounded about how one tiny decision affected their entire life and how close they came to missing it. Remember that the next time you are sitting in your underwear, eating a bag of chips and thinking about skipping that invitation.

It seems to me that the happiest couples found love when they were not looking. They were happy and satisfied with their lives alone. And then, right when they least expected it, the right person came into their lives.

Be kind to others, work on improving yourself and be open to trying new experiences. You just may find the love you have given up on.


This made me curious though. I knew that I played a part in my meeting of them in before him. I was determined that I would do things differently after those marriages, but I never got around to that.I started looking at my group of friends that were married or in love. I asked the seemingly happiest couples about the circumstances surrounding their meetings.

Posted in credit repair, Debt, Finance, Life, money

Paying Off Debt Quickly Using The Snowball Method

Using this method, paying off debt can be done with fast results and skyrocketing credit scores

A lady exasperated by her debt, trying to figure out how to pay it all
Canva

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

-Aristotle

A debt snowball is not a crumpled up wad of bills for you to throw around in the snow. It is a debt reducing strategy that I learned from financial guru, Dave Ramsey. I have tried almost every financial strategy in existence and this one is the one I recommend to my financial or credit analysis clients.

Using this method, paying off debt can be done a little at a time for faster results and skyrocketing credit scores.

Step 1

Add up all of your debt and allocate them into categories such as credit cards, medical, collections, loans, etc. Then further allocate them by the ones with the highest interest rate down to the lowest. Use the method on each section or, if you can only do one at a time, start with the debt that has interest on it.

Step 2

Pay the minimum payment due on all except the one with the smallest balance or the highest interest rate. I would recommend sorting first by interest rate and then by balance to save the most money in the long run. However you decide to do it, pick the one to pay as much over the minimum payment as you can afford.

Repeat until the first debt is paid off in full.

Step 3

Repeat the first two steps over and over with the remaining debt until everything is paid off and you are one of the rare, debt-free individuals that we hear about so often.

After that final debt is cleared, you will be amazed how fast things got better for you financially and regretful for how long it took you to do it. Suddenly, you’ll be in the position to buy something that you need when you need it and use cash. Being debt free is an amazing feeling to have especially if you have almost drowned from it before.


That doesn’t sound like a big deal to some people, but I know many, many people who pray for only that circumstance to happen in their lives before they die. They just want a chance to not worry constantly about making ends meet for a few moments in their life before it’s over.

I am a definite realist and true unbeliever in fairy tales. So, please believe me when I tell you that this goal is attainable for everyone. Anyone willing to put in the work can make this happen. As with anything else, small changes and/or steps done on a consistent basis will quickly lead to great accomplishments.

My favorite financial quote has always been, “It is not how much money you earn, but how much you don’t spend that determines your wealth.” It is also a quote that I have heard from my brother 1 million times so it has stuck in my head. Which reinforces my point that anything we do repeatedly becomes an action.