Posted in Family, Life, parenting

How To Become The Amazing Mother Your Daughter Deserves

As women, we should build our daughters up instead of giving them insecurities

 A depressed woman’s arm is written on in marker.
Depression

As a mother, before taking any action or making a decision of any kind, you must ask yourself, “How will this action that I’m considering right now affect my child?” Before ANY DECISION. It’s just a simple question. It’s not that hard. This one action will save you a lot of grief down the road.

It’s a lot harder to put something back together after you break it than it is to just keep it from getting broken to begin with. Take the answer you provide yourself and make the best choice for your child or children. Not for you. For them.

Women, and men obviously, have their own set of mannerisms and habits that drive me crazy as they are extremely damaging to children.

Men

Ladies, the company of your child is more important than the company of any man you are dating. Childhood is fleeting.

Children form their personalities early and you have essentially done all you can do for them as far as parenting goes by the time they are ten years old. After that, it is up to their experiences and their peers.

So, unless you want your child to grow up as a needy ho-bag by extension, you would be better off focusing now on trying to raise her to be educated and independent.

I know women are capable of having sons. But the damage they are capable of doing to their daughters is worthy of a separate article. Lead by example. Little eyes are always watching and little ears are always listening even if it might not seem that way.

Pretending you are dumb and acting ditzy is the most annoying and unflattering thing a female can do for a male’s attention. Encourage intelligence and independence.

I’m not lying when I tell you that I want to slap the hell out of any woman that acts like that.

Body Image

For 1000 different reasons, it is very common these days for women to have body issues and insecurities. Even so, please do your daughters a favor and stop publicly dieting and criticizing yourself. Stop calling yourself fat in front of them, even if you are. You may be a hippo, I know the feeling, but your daughter is an elephant. They never forget anything.

So please don’t project your body image issues and obsessions onto your children. The world is hard enough without adding to the load they will carry. Teach them about self-love, not self-hate. Teach them about confidence and how there’s a difference between that and arrogance.

Don’t idolize looking like a porn star, either. You don’t have to dress like a lot lizard. Do you really want to teach your daughters to act and look like that? Do you really want to teach your sons to desire that? Natural is beautiful.

Intelligence

We need to make intelligence in women sexy and valued. Less focus should be placed on boobs and more on brains by society, men, and ourselves. We need to set our own standards of beauty. We need to be proud of our accomplishments, our integrity and our character.

Stop hiding your intelligence from men. A real man won’t get intimidated by a strong, smart woman. He will value her as his partner. He will be proud to have such a person on his team. And if he’s not, you should not accept that as an acceptable mate for yourself.

Friendship

When your daughter or child is 25 and self-sufficient, y’all can be best friends. Until that day, you have to be the bad guy like the rest of us and actually parent your children. They have friends. They don’t need you to be a friend. They need you to be a parent.

They need routine, structure, love, guidance, and discipline. They need to be taught values and morals amongst 1 million other things. Focus on being a parent and you won’t have time to worry about the little, meaningless things that you shouldn’t be.

Parenting is hard and thankless. There are days that I cry myself to sleep and think I’m failing. But, I still get up every day and do it again. I owe that to them. And as a result of that, they have turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done.

Whatever you want and need right now is irrelevant and will be until your children are raised.

Discipline

As I am sure many of you can also attest to, my mama used to tell me it hurt her more than it hurt me after she whipped my butt. I thought that was complete and total bullshit until I became a parent. No matter whether I was just getting on to them or saying I was disappointed, it was always hard to be the cause of anything but happiness to them.

I have had to put aside my personal feelings on how I want to handle things and do it the way I know I should instead. It is no coincidence that we have an entitled, unkind society. It is now more important than ever that we return to discipline, morals, and guidance.

I would rather have them mad at me for a little while so I can ensure that they grow up to be the best humans that they can possibly be. And because I did the hard parts, my children are amazing people that are responsible and independent.

We, as a society, are more worried about political correctness than we are about creating a good generation to leave after we are gone. We have let teaching morals and building a foundation of good character fall into disarray.

Hard-working men have now turned into blustering, overly sensitive little whiners that are dependent on other people for everything. Even men with full bushy beards don’t think they should have to do a full days hard work. Self-sufficiency and hard work has become a thing of the past for most people, not just men. Morality is going out the door with it at a very fast pace.

Instead of hiding behind closed doors and praying for a better world, we should all be working diligently to create one. I hope to teach my children not to wait for change, but to be the cause of change. It only takes one person or one small act of rebellion to spark the fires of change.

At least I can take comfort knowing that there will be a few hard-working men in the next generation. Along with a few hard-working, self-sufficient women. Because that is how I am intent on raising him.

I might not end up accomplishing much in my lifetime, but if being the mother that my children is all I can achieve then I’ve done enough and more than a lot of others have. It would be more than enough of an accomplishment to make me proud of my life.

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Author:

Real Estate Agent, Landlord, Micro-Investor and Finance Specialist. Enjoys sarcasm, wit, wine and writing. Dogs are the answer to everything.

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