Author: Kylie

Real Estate Agent, Landlord, Micro-Investor and Finance Specialist. Enjoys sarcasm, wit, wine and writing. Dogs are the answer to everything.
Posted in Humor, Life, tips

9 Ways To Build A Life Worth Living

Posted on by Kylie
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I woke up in my forties and found myself adrift in a sea of yoga pants, identical personalities, and uninspired activities. Everything and everyone I encountered was interchangeable, bland, and boring. I decided I would never let that happen to me.

So, I took a good look at the people I was around on a consistent basis and noticed that they all were content but unenthusiastic and unmotivated. None of them were striving for more or continuing to grow in any way that I could see. Every day was the same as the one before it.

People that I formerly knew as outspoken leaders were now sharing the same opinions and beliefs as their spouses without knowing why. So much so, that they began to almost look-alike in addition to also sharing the same thoughts.

Two sheep on a grassy area.
Robinson Recalde on Unsplash

I thought and pondered on this for weeks. I heard people who spouted their opinions straight from Fox or CNN, talk about brainwashed individuals. They could not see the irony.

I could see the authenticity had left them somewhere along their way. I wanted to make sure I never lost myself. I didn’t know how to prevent it though. Then I thought about what made me different than them.

Read

I constantly read from almost every genre. I believe that this keeps my brain healthy and is one of the reasons I am a critical thinker. I have always been a person to ask questions. I want to know why things happen. I want to know how things are done. And most importantly, I don’t offer an opinion on something I’m not educated about.

Try new things

Growth is about allowing yourself to evolve. I aim to learn something new every day, whether it is from another person, a lesson from something dumb I did, or from reading an article.

I also make it a habit to try new activities and go to new places as often as I can. In the last month, I have started shooting a bow, making mosaics, and started growing my own vegetables. Even if I hate it, at least I can say I tried.

A camera on a ledge with the sky in the background.
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Teach

There is not a person alive that does not have insights or experiences to share with another. We are meant to pass our lessons on. At a minimum, share your experiences with your children and family as a legacy for them to have forever.

Give

Religion did not teach me this, but I live my life as a servant to others. Serving and giving are the two things that I get the most reward out of doing. I love seeing the downtrodden realize that someone cares or the shunned know that someone will stand up for them.

Give without expecting anything in return, but the feeling you are rewarded with. It is more than enough.

Woman falling off a ledge reaching out to a hand held out to help her.
Noah Bücher on Unsplash

Laugh

The theme of my life has been and always will be laughter. I think my best quality is being able to find something to laugh and joke about on an almost constant basis. I don’t understand people that take themselves so seriously. Lighten the f*&k up. We only get one life, or so I’m told.

Be Yourself

Whoever that you believe created this world did not put you here to be a replica of everyone else. I am completely original, and so are you. Stop trying to fit in and love who you are!

The world needs more people to push boundaries and defy the ordinary. That could be you if you stopped being a sell-out.

Have a creative outlet

I am considered to be a stoic person by certain members of my family. I don’t get overly emotional outwardly. But, despite what many think, I do have feelings and care deeply about plenty. I’m just awkward as hell at showing it.

Years ago, my former therapist recommended I take up a creative hobby as an outlet for my feelings. I don’t know if writing, making mosaics, or painting is getting the brunt of my emotions, but I do enjoy doing it.

It really does help me relax or calm down when I lose my cool, or I’m stressed out more than usual.

Reduce Stress

Being a walking ball of anxiety, I have a hard time with this even though I try hard to do it. Relaxing is something that has never come easy for me. I don’t watch TV, and I am usually running around working, parenting, or cleaning. When I do sit down, I fall asleep almost instantly.

With that being said, I have tried mediation, mindful breathing, stress exercises, drinking, and much more to reduce my stress levels. I haven’t found anything that worked much for me, but I am still optimistic. If I ever find a way to relax, I will really feel like I’ve made it in this world.

An image of a man standing on a rock with arms outspread in front of a sunset.
Xan Griffin on Unsplash

Buy Less/Do More

You will, most likely, never regret an experience with a loved one, but you will consistently regret material purchases. When faced with the choice of an item or an experience, always choose the experience. Memories will be the only thing you take with you when you pass on.

Most importantly, as I have recently learned the hard way, Memories are the only things left behind for us as well. Treasure the moments you are making them.

Posted in Humor, Life

Aging Gracefully

Posted on by Kylie

Aging is a slow dance with a beautiful man whose name is death, but he goes by Bill so that you won’t know it’s him. It is not a lie that youth is wasted on the young. Few of the young realize the opportunities that youth allows them.

When I turned 40, I handled it better than I thought I would. I still felt the same way as I did at 39 and I still thought much the same way as I did at 13. “What’s the big deal,” I thought to myself.

In my journey to age 41, I did make note of sudden changes that appeared as I got older. When I turned 32, I started lowering the volume on my car radio.

When 35 hit, I woke up loving gardening and flowered artwork.

At forty, I suddenly went nuts for Christmas decor and started collecting Christmas ornaments. I got embarrassingly much too excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Aging is a slow dance with a beautiful man named Death, but he goes by Bill so you won't know it's him.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Then I turned 41. I guess my freak out mode was delayed a year because 41 is when I really freaked out. I felt like I woke up suddenly a decade older. The only things missing were me suddenly loving cat sweaters and cross stitching rainbows. I was sure that was coming along shortly.

Shortly after my forty first birthday, things started to change. Suddenly, an evening with friends that included a few drinks took three days to recover from.

I started carrying Advil in the car in addition to having it at home. The weather became an awesome topic of conversation and I ran into at least three people I knew every time I went to the pharmacy.

I had to fight myself into not buying a cat sweater. I canceled three appointments that I made for a permanent and a set and Piccadilly at 4:30 seemed the perfect locale for dinner instead of resembling a formaldehyde smelling funeral home.

Image for post
Photo by Unsplash

I looked at my wrinkles, sagging body, and gray hairs that appeared overnight while trying to think about the good parts of aging. I knew there had to be some.

I definitely am a lot more mature and responsible than I was 12 years ago, although I’m still decades behind my peers in that respect. No one loves pranks and 12-year-old humor more than I do. I also impulse buy a lot.

I still get hit on plenty, but that’s really not saying much because some of these men would hit on a dead toad if they thought it would put out. And it’s usually at the gas station or over Messenger.

Recently, I looked at some pictures of Jennifer Aniston, and women like her in their fifties, who claim not to ever have had cosmetic surgery done. They look like they’re 19 instead of 50. I bet they don’t even own a housedress.

I call bullshit. Either they are lying or they’re buying $12,000 skin cream made from some secret ingredient that only they know about such as endangered eagle jizz or something similar.

Anyway, my exterior might be aging a bit, but my internal self is still young and vibrant. I love to have fun, be social, and be with friends and family. And mess with people and stir up trouble.

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Unsplash

I both dread and look forward to what 45 holds in store for me. As I age, my brain, beliefs, and morals get better, but my body is slowly falling apart.

Like a fine wine, I’m getting better with age, but only on the inside. But I’ll grow old fighting it every step of the way.

Posted in Humor

Loving Yourself Even Though You’re A Little Bitch

Posted on by Kylie

What is self love exactly? I hear about it on the near constant basis, but I’m not sure how you cannot love or at least tolerate yourself as you are stuck with you forever. I will be the first to admit that I get on my damn nerves sometimes. I can be very annoying and aggressive. When I’m joking, a lot of times, people can’t tell that I’m joking, which makes it funnier for me but awkward for them.

I used to be a very shy person that lacked confidence or self-esteem. Now, I’m outgoing, confident, and I love myself even though I can be a huge assh*&e sometimes. I don’t know for sure how I changed or what caused it but after thinking about it, I wrote down some items I do that may have contributed to my increase in self-worth.

Laugh

Find a reason to laugh. We all have flaws and, though mine are annoying, when I compare them to other’s they aren’t so bad. I know I’m a good person and not a douche nugget like so many others I know.

Be your own biggest fan

Celebrate your own damn accomplishments. If no one else is proud of you, or even if they are, celebrate yourself! For example, I got tired of waiting for my family and friends to recognize my achievements. I started buying myself a treat anytime I accomplished a big goal and I also gave my own horn a couple of toots on social media as well. It turns out that I can live pretty easily without the approval of others.

Dress up, hussy up, and show up

There are days I don’t want to get up, or work a sixty hours a week, or parent but I drag myself out of bed. Then I dress up, slap makeup on, put on some accessories and go do what I don’t want to. Once I am looking better, I start feeling better. I tend to feel how I look.

Physical Activity

This has always been the bane of my existence. I am an outdoor girl but I absolutely hate exercise. I have found that if I do something active and heart pumping that I can count that as exercise. So, I’ll take a walk with my dogs, clean up around the house, go fishing, or go help my parents. Then I don’t feel like I am exercising, but I am still being active which makes me feel better overall.

Skincare Routine

I maintain a skin care routine, morning and night most of the time. I will wash my face, tone it, apply moisturizer, eye cream, and oil treatment. It sounds trivial, but it makes me feel cleaner and ready for sleep or the day ahead. I call it my spa sessions.

Hobby/Creative Outlet

Ever since my former therapist recommended creativity as an outlet for me over a decade ago, I have always dabbled in an art or hobby of some kind. At the moment, it is mosaics, gardening, journaling, and writing. I don’t know if it is an outlet, but I enjoy it and don’t intend to stop anytime soon. I know I’m not an artist, but I feel proud of myself when I create something.

Not everyone is capable of seeing the beauty and worth inside of them, but the rest of us do already.

Posted in Humor, Life, parenting, tips

Memory Making With Daughters

Posted on by Kylie
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As a parent of six kids, it is very hard to spend one on one time with each of them. However, it is essential that I make the time. I created a schedule where I try to go on a date night or day with one or two of them every two weeks. It’s as good for me as it is for them.

In this article, I have listed a few ideas that have helped us bond, have fun, make memories and become closer by going on these dates. I have also made this about girls because I tend to do different things with my boys. I will write about that later.

The older my children have gotten, the more they have tried to get out of spending time with me. I may let them get by with this if there’s a special event they want to go to but otherwise it is mandatory.

My daughters are night and day in both looks and personality. What they can agree on is that they love animals so usually both of them will pick the pet store to go to at least once a year.

My oldest daughter loves puppies, kittens, or anything fluffy and cute. She is a lot like me in that respect. She is now 21 and lives on her own with three very large dogs that she calls my grand dogs.

My youngest daughter likes reptiles. She wants to be a veterinarian and specialize in reptiles. I, personally, do not care for them at all. She has a pet lizard and turtle at home and she does a great job of taking care of them. That is a good thing for her because the alternative would be me releasing them into the wild immediately. I don’t do reptiles.

Mini Golf. This is something that my youngest daughter has chosen once or twice. We had a great time playing the mini golf and the arcade located inside

Update: She now despises mini golf which is apparently a new side effect of PMS.

Unlike my boys, who never read unless forced, both of my girls are avid readers like myself. They both are extremely happy to go and get a new book when they get the opportunity. All three of us are able to spend hours in a bookstore to relax, browse, and read.

The local art workshop is also a mainstay. My youngest daughter is my creative child so often do creative activities such as this. The place we go is a local business where you can go pick out a piece to paint. You can take it home or paint it there at the store.You can also sign up for a lesson on how to paint with acrylics on canvas. Either way, it’s a good time for all.

Being a mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t change a thing. And if I could go back in time, I would not let any precious moment pass me by.

For more of my articles please see my Medium account.https://link.medium.com/spYpLkSTk9

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Posted in Humor

2020: As Written By A Nine Year Old

Posted on by Kylie
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I have made up a fictional scenario that could be just as conceivable as any other as to why this year has been a complete disaster. I would like to relay it here and look forward to hearing all the input and arguments.

To appease the masses, in this theory, we will refer to God as a male. We will also understand that time passes differently due to Heaven being in another dimension. Thirty minutes up there would equal to five years down here.

Since the last world clusterf$&k, aka war, God has been sitting and doing his job diligently and silently. Finally, he determined that he was due a bathroom break with possibly a couple of cigarettes. Glancing around, he grabbed the first angel that he saw to cover him on his break. The angel’s name was Dennis and happened to be a child.

Dennis was only nine years old and a red head, which we all know is a lethal combination. He was determined to make some changes in the short amount of time he was in charge of things.

His first act in charge was to make a human that he intended to be only a cartoon character on a TV show. Since he had no idea what he was doing, he accidentally turned his creation into President of the United States by dropping his mold into orange paint. This creation of his had nearly started three wars before he had noticed what he had done.

Panicking, he sent a really bad flu season down, hoping it would fix what he had done. When that didn’t work, he invented a new species of bee that was deadly. He named them “Killer Bees.” He targeted a specific location and sent them straight to Washington. Little did he know, the president he was looking for was rarely there. He preferred being in Florida where he could golf.

Completely out of sorts and shaken now, he threw together some problems and sent them to Earth. One of these being COVID-19, the virus that would infect and isolate the entire world. At the time, being only nine, he was hoping to bring the people together, fix his mistake and drive out the imposters, but the masses only turned on each other.

By the time that God came back from his break, the world was in chaos. All he could do was shake his head as he tried to fix what Dennis had started. He sent down some help, but they were not heard in the hysteria. He sent love, but it was not seen with the brutality. He sent down cures, but they were blocked for profits.

He finally figured out a solution and started the wheels in motion. He decided that to fix these dire situations, the people would have to come together and turn to love and away from hatred. Only then could he stop what Dennis had set in motion. No one noticed because they were all at each other’s throats. Too selfish and arrogant to notice the help being offered, they once again turned their back on each other.

I would like to end this here, but I’m not sure what is going to happen yet and it scares me every second.

As published on Muddyum

Posted in Humor

Random Tips For Your Eternal Gratitude

Posted on by Kylie

I can’t tell you how to divide fractions, but I can tell you the easiest way to clean an intake vent or how to cure a hangover really quickly.

I have more tips than you could ever imagine written down or stored in my mind, but I’ve only listed ten in this article. Too much information all at once can overwhelm instead of educate. At least that’s what I tell myself.

A green shattered glass bottle
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
  1. If you break a dish and are not sure that you got it all swept up, lay a flashlight (turned on, obviously) on the floor and it will cast a shadow on any shards left behind.
  2. Wearing green on camera (both still photos and videos) will make you appear smaller. Your family pictures will thank me.
  3. If you come across a screw or bolt that won’t budge, pour some coke (the drink) over it and watch it loosen on up.
  4. Make rust disappear on hard surfaces by rubbing it with aluminum foil that has been soaked in vinegar.
  5. This is more of a warning than a tip, but at many bars the drink garnishments sit out for days and sometimes more. I would ask for no garnishments if I were you.
  6. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade has the same pain relieving effect as taking over the counter traditional pain relievers.
  7. Pound for pound, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. I told my husband that my tongue game was strong AF!
  8. If you use your phone while it is charging, it will damage your phone battery. Before you know it, you will have to invest in a new battery for your smart phone.
  9. If you are having a coughing fit and can’t stop coughing, raise your arms above your head and it will cease! If you are anything like me, these fits will always happen in a quiet but crowded room.
  10. When making tacos put the cheese on before the meat. The cheese will melt and prevent the shell from breaking apart.But have a soft tortilla laying under it just in case. If anything falls out he will have a soft taco immediately.

I hope some, if not all, of these tips and tricks will be of value to you.

I hope you all read my next article which will cover my job as a rocket scientist. more of how I just pretend to be one actually.

How I Saved My MarriageI am most recently married again for the third time. I knew going into it that this marriage was going to be forever no…link.medium.com