Tag: advice

Advice and instructions

Posted in Life

Money Taboos We Should Break

Posted on by Kylie
Money Taboos We Should Break
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Stop doing stupid things to sabotage your finances.

I can’t put it any more clearly. We can start becoming less uninformed, aka dumb, by breaking some of the taboos that surround the topic of money and finance.

Talk

It has been, in the past, considered taboo to talk about money.

We need to correct this now. The more we talk about money, and what does or does not work for us, the better for everybody.

And I, for one, would’ve appreciated people talking about money in high school. It would’ve been nice to learn about budgeting, saving, and earning instead of the Pythagorean theorem. I wonder how many bankruptcies could’ve been avoided if this had been implemented.

Cost

It has been considered in poor taste or vulgar to ask someone how much they paid for something.

I think that’s ridiculous because how are we supposed to know what a good deal is or if we’re getting ripped off if we don’t know what the normal baseline price is? So, when he asks, tell Tom how much that new lawnmower cost. What does it really matter? If they come asking you for money, just say no.

With this being said, I do not agree with telling people your salary or income information. That is nobody’s business but your own. Yes, I can make up my own rules. America is a democracy, but my house is a dictatorship run by me. Just ask my kids.

Marriage

Okay, ladies and men, please pay attention here. Luckily for us, it is no longer 1952 or even 1989. You don’t have to ask your husband to open a checking account, credit card, or for his input on any financial decision.

And, men, you don’t have to tell your wife about every little thing you buy nor do you have to hand your paycheck over.

I’m going to get in trouble for this comment, but all marriages work differently. You are not required to share financial accounts just because you are married. You are still entitled to your own independence and your own wealth.

My husband and I choose to share expenses, but stay out of each other’s personal accounts. It works for us. It doesn’t mean it would work for everybody. I’m well aware that marriage is an extremely complicated situation and needs to be personally built around each situation.

I cannot go back and yell at the teachers from 1993 to 1997 about not teaching me in high school what I should’ve been taught, but I can break the cycle by teaching my children about finances.

If we fix this now, the next generation will be more prepared to deal with the financial world.

Posted in Cleaning, Life, tips

Grandma’s Greatest Disappointment

Posted on by Kylie
Grandma’s Disappointment With My Cleaning Skills
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I am not a good housekeeper. Not according to my mother and her mother’s standards anyway. Compared to most of the rental properties I have to inspect, I am a regular Martha Stewart minus the felonies. Cleaning standards are varied according to whoever is judging whom at that minute. These nagging opinions didn’t really bother me until I got left a bottle of Clorox in my grandma’s will.

I’m not begrudging that Clorox now because we are in a pandemic and it is very hard to find. Who’s laughing now, cousin Bobby?

Over the years I have learned many tips and tricks about cleaning. Tips learned for the soul purpose of making cleaning go easier, faster, and without much effort being involved.

Q-Tip

This little ear cleaning device can be used in a thousand different ways. It is the perfect size to get the dust out of crevices and tiny items. I love to use this to clean my air return vents. Most people don’t think about those, but I am not most people.

Magic Eraser

I don’t know what material this is made out of. If I had to guess, I would say a cloud. Whatever it is, it is an absolute lifesaver. That shit will get the dirt off of anything. You can clean walls with it. You can clean trash cans with it. You can clean the inside of your refrigerator with it. I’ve never tried it, but you could probably clean your kid with it.

Salt

Salt can make cleaning cast iron a breeze. Sprinkle dirty pan liberally with salt. Let it sit at least fifteen minutes and then scrub the gunk right off! I could write a book on cast iron. But I won’t today.

You can also sprinkle salt on a rust stain on the carpet. Pour hot water over the salt coated stain. Wait fifteen minutes or more and then the stain will blot right out.

Newspaper

Although this will be obsolete many years from now, I’ll be set because my stepfather was the editor of the paper and has hoarded about 10 years’ worth of papers.

My grandmother always said that they were good for cleaning mirrors, but I could not get them to not cause streaks or prevent the ink from transferring. But I do use it as a cleaning tool for any outside work that I need to do. That includes cleaning my front porch railings, my rocking chairs, my side tables, and my planters. I know you’re thinking I’m a huge old bore right now, but I do know how to good have a good time, I promise.

Baking Soda

My grandmother swore by it, but I really can’t say it works. However, Mammaw, I keep baking soda in my fridge to kill odors and I also sprinkle down my drains.

I’m not cleaning my floors with a toothbrush. I just don’t care that much.

Vinegar

I’m not gonna lie. This stuff stinks. End it stinks regardless of apple cider variety or any other kind. You just cannot make a flavor strong enough to get past the stink of vinegar.

However, it cleans amazingly and can be used to clean all kinds of stuff. I’ve heard of people to actually only use vinegar and use it to clean everything. I don’t because I can’t stand the smell. I don’t want my house smelling like a douche.

But if you’re judging something as far as usefulness goes, vinegar can be used for more than cleaning. It can be used for pickling, lice removal, bug spray, etc.

I hope my Mammaw’s cleaning tips will help you. Maybe she will be prouder of you than me.

Posted in Life

Life Lessons For My Children

Posted on by Kylie
Life Lessons For My Children
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Two of my children have already suffered the loss of one parent. The pain they felt from that was agonizing and left me vengeful. The curtain I had put up to hide life’s darkness from their little eyes had fallen off and I didn’t know how to fix it.

Since then, my biggest nightmare has always been having to leave them alone in this world before they are ready for me to go. I know the day will someday come and I hope I will have been able to ingrain the lessons they need to know about life into them by then.

Maintenance

As a property manager, I am continually surprised by the number of adults that can’t take care of basic maintenance in their home. I don’t want my children ever to be dependant on someone else to do things that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. Despite what my daughter thinks, she is not a princess and she can do whatever she is not too lazy to take on.

Identity

You will not find your identity in another person so stop trying to be anyone other than you. Just because your boyfriend likes hot rods doesn’t mean that you have to. You can have your own set of hobbies, strengths, and weaknesses. Common ground will show itself eventually, don’t try to force it.

Complacency

Don’t mistake comfort for happiness. Don’t get complacent in any area of your life. Always keep growing, loving, learning, and doing. When we stop doing those things, our lives become purposeless. We were not meant to be a stagnant species.

Boundaries

I wish I had learned this lesson early. It is absolutely necessary to set and maintain boundaries with every single relationship in your life. Draw your lines in the sand and do not compromise on this. Learn to say no and to say no more often. Unfortunately, takers will try to take more than you are capable of giving. Not everyone has the same heart you do.

Choices

Every decision we make or action we take part in has an equal reaction. Everything you do will affect your future self and your future circumstances. If things aren’t going right, look at some of the choices you’ve made instead of looking for someone else to blame.

Emotions

I hope they feel the emotions that are offered them, good or bad. I hope they never think the problems of others are less than theirs. No one’s problems are insubstantial. Everyone hurts and bleeds and deserves it to be acknowledged. We also can never know what someone is going through on the inside. Not everyone likes to whine and throw pity parties on social media.

The less fortunate

I hope they will look at the homeless, addicted, and fallen, but only see a beautiful soul. I hope they realize that the gold plated veneer of the beautiful eventually galvanizes and all that which was shiny becomes dull. I hope they learn that mankind is not a currency to be used to gain status. Do all good deeds quietly and with humility.

Obstacles

Every obstacle or difficulty is put in our path so we can defeat it. Through suffering, we all become wiser and more apt to grow and spark change. The passionate and driven will always replace the indifference.There are many, many other things that need to be taught to my children before they will be completely ready to be good and decent human beings.

I don’t want them to feel any pressure, but the fate of the world just may be resting on one of their shoulders.

Posted in Humor, Life, satire

The Mansplanation

Posted on by Kylie
Mansplaining
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I once asked if water had calories in it. I am not proud of this moment. I was sixteen, but my obvious confusion by the laughter, cleared up immediately once Randy explained it to me. I knew that would happen. I only seem to be able to understand the logistics of something when a man is kind enough to mansplain it. My favorite thing is when they explain the workings of the female reproductive system.

A mansplanation is much like an explanation, but done so in a manner that is easier to understand for us women. You know, because our brains don’t work like men’s do.

One time, I was at the gas station standing there completely flabbergasted about what kind of snack I wanted to eat. Then a helpful gentleman moseyed up behind me, grabbed my hips and said, “Excuse me, little lady. I’m just trying to help you when I tell you that you probably don’t need any chocolate or a cookie. There are bananas for sale upfront at $.89 each.” He winked at me and walked away. So, that is when I got my first felony.

Thousands of mansplanations later, I am a Property Manager of over 185 rental properties which includes having to oversee many different vendors and contractors. Many of which whom are older and maler than I am. Some have no problem getting direction from a woman, but others feel the need to try to argue with me and mansplain everything.

I’ve had them mansplain the way air filters work and where they go, how to reset a garbage disposal, and how to find the cheapest tampons. Yes, they know everything. There is literally no need for us to learn anything.

But without the mansplanation, how would I have learned how to put air in my tires? How would I have learned the price per pound of groceries?

I hope one day to teach my own sons the art of mansplaining. I realize I am not a man, but I’ve experienced it enough to teach it, I believe. I’m sure a man will correct me if I’m wrong in this opinion.

Maybe once society gets this under their belt, we can work on the womansplanation. I’m imagining it to make a lot more sense and to include a lot more logic instead of, “Because I said so.” It might even include graphs and references.

Posted in Depression, Life, tips

The Brightest Smiles

Posted on by Kylie
Signs and symptoms of depression
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Though emotional, she will smile through extraordinary darkness

Kylie

They hold the darkness without complaint and seem only to want to make others laugh and smile. No one notices when they go quiet or they assume them to always be happy and upbeat

I used to fight the depression. I would tell myself to carry my burdens through the darkness and come out harder with the world. I would sleep constantly to feel the attachment I only experienced while in my dreams. My sadness would cause visible irritation to my loved ones, so I pushed it down and away. I slept and bore this cross alone.

Eventually, I would start to awaken and to feel the emotions offered. In a few weeks, I would barely remember my head against the pillow and my presence being unstable.

Don’t disregard the friends that smile all the time. Don’t ignore the ones who laugh and never talk about their problems. They may need you the most. You’re probably asking how you are to know if no one says anything. I just like to assume everyone needs a friend and be available as often as possible.

Very rarely will you get a direct suicide threat or something concrete to go off of. You have to trust your instincts and be attuned to the feelings of the people that are around you.

Be Consistent

Be a consistent friend. Life gets in everyone’s way sometimes, but we have to put effort into our friendships just like we do any other relationship to maintain it. Don’t go weeks without a check-in via text, call, or in person. Everyone needs to know they are loved and valued. One-sided friendships, where one person does all, or the majority of the communicating and plan-making, are depressing and unfair to the person doing everything. One person should not have to carry the entire weight of a relationship on their shoulders alone.

Be Human

People need others like them around that they can relate to. Not the ones that have an image to maintain or ones that act like Stepford wives. Talk to them about your own experiences that may relate to theirs. Share your struggles and your triumphs. Be the example that things do get better. Make sure they understand that the light is the brightest right after the darkness.

Don’t Be Condescending

Do not insult people with platitudes especially during hard times. That is the last thing anybody wants to hear. Don’t say that you know how they feel or tell them that tomorrow is another day. If all you know are generic platitudes, then just listen. Often times, listening is what they need the most. A listening ear is way more valuable than someone giving unsolicited advice on how to fix a situation they know nothing about personally.

Don’t Assume

The main thing is not to presume anyone’s emotional state by their outward display. We are taught at a young age, some more than others, to hide the feelings that make others uncomfortable. We are taught that feelings shown is the same as showing your weakness which could not be further from the truth. The brave are the ones that talk about what no one else will.

If you read the stories written by the suicidal, some of them have been saved by a kind word from a stranger or a phone call to a suicide hotline. What you say and do does make a difference. Sometimes, it can make all the difference. Keep your eyes open.

Posted in Career, Life, property management, tips, Uncategorized

Maintaining Composure During Heated Situations

Posted on by Kylie
Staying calm at work

Curse words spewed out of my mouth and into the tenant’s face. This wasn’t the first time that I had been pushed to my breaking point by being screamed at, cussed out, and sometimes pushed around. As a landlord, aka property manager, I have many houses to manage all over every part of my city. I have learned how to deal specifically with each section of the public.

There are the elitist tenants who call me every second about everything. They, for the most part, cannot do any home repair items themselves. This includes changing air filters, smoke detector batteries, and resetting tripped breakers. They hide their ignorance by flaunting their money. They have been brainwashed into thinking money is the same as intelligence. They hide their loneliness by talking, whining, and complaining to everyone they meet.

There are the poor tenants who struggle to survive who blame me personally when they can’t pay their rent. They will drive to my office and threaten me if eviction is looming. They never call about maintenance issues unless it is dire because they just want to be left alone and don’t want anyone seeing the messy state of their frantic lives.

There are the young tenants who are living alone for the first time and need help with everything from how to pay rent, use of an online app to submitting a maintenance request.

Then there are the old tenants who live alone or with a spouse listening to the echoes of their children in the halls from years past. They look forward to any contact and will happily chit chat with someone who calls, from telemarketer to me or my staff, for hours.

At any given moment, I can go from being physically pushed and verbally abused to spending half an hour talking with the sweetest little old lady I’ve ever met. It took me a good year to learn how to maintain my composure during these swift emotional transitions. I had to create boundaries and try to stick with them, becoming never too mad, too attached, or too invested in any one person’s circumstance.

Of course, this doesn’t always work and sometimes I lose my footing. I have dropped my professionalism down the tubes and hit back, yelled back, babysat, bought food, bought clothes, and loaned rent money. I have regretted doing this most of the time. I usually end up getting taken advantage of once anyone sees that I have heartstrings to pull. I have people that have turned on me as soon as I helped them.

I would like to think I have learned my lesson, but someone will come along and test my boundaries and find them lacking. Setting boundaries is essential in this line of work, as in many others that deal with the public.

You have to work hard not to become jaded because people lie about anything if it benefits them somehow. My sense of humor and not taking things personally have really been the two biggest things to keep me successful in this career and not burned out and jaded.

I continue to always look for the little acts of human kindness that are shown periodically. That brings fresh air to every one of us. Sometimes those little acts are enough to keep going for.

By setting boundaries, keeping my sense of humor, and searching for human acts of kindness every day, I am able to survive this work and hope that I have made a difference to someone, somewhere along the way.

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