I could go on for hours, but I feel like I should ease you into this for multiple reasons.
I hope you found some use out of my list of lists. My lists have served me well and are the main reason that I am the mediocre success that I am today. If I spent half as much energy accomplishing goals in lieu of listing them, I could probably be a lot more successful.
Therapy is unavoidable, so you might as well have fun
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One of the least talked about benefits, in normal circles anyway, of having children is the ability to be able to make fun of them and humiliate them ever so gently.
You have countless opportunities over the years to embarrass them in many, many ways. Do not let this go to waste. You’re going to be paying for therapy anyway. You might as well make the most of it.
PDA
Otherwise known as a public display of affection, this act will mortify for years on end. A good way to do this is to maybe hug your husband or, if you are really feeling spicy, performing a huge make out session right in front of the school.
If you’re a single parent, as I have been often, just grab someone nearby. Sometimes, jail is worth it if you succeed in your goals. Make sure you use tongue.
Try to dance or be cool in any capacity
My kids absolutely hate it when I “dab.” They also hate it when I use their lingo. I will throw in words like fye and lit during our conversations. Especially if their friends are around. That way they know I’m trying to understand and relate to them.
My fourteen year old son loves to call me bro. Once I started beating him to it and calling him bro first, he cut it out.
The kitty game
I don’t like to remember this dark period in my life. For it is when my parents dealt an embarrassing blow so devastating that only now, many decades later, can I laugh about it.
It was the evening of my first date and the day after my sixteenth birthday. The doorbell rang as all gentlemen must come to the door to pick a lady up, according to my mother.
I thought it was odd that my stepfather didn’t want to answer the door and made me do it instead.I answered the door and escorted my date into the living room where my parents were watching television on the couch.
They were not on the couch anymore when I came in to introduce my date to them. I felt all of my blood rush to my face as I realized what they were doing to embarrass me.
Once again, I had underestimated them. They were on all fours. They were playing the kitty game.
The kitty game is much like it sounds. You crawl around and act like a cat. This includes purring, meowing, and rubbing against people’s legs. To date, I have never been more embarrassed.
Clothing
Take it from me, kids don’t appreciate it when you wear their names on your shirt to celebrate them at a sporting event or even just Applebee’s. They want you to show up to their games. But they don’t want you to cheer for them, make eye contact with them, talk to their friend’s parents, or wear a shirt with their name on it.
Kids also want you to dress your age. Which means they think, at age 41, I should be wearing cat sweaters and elastic band pants. I’ve got the elastic band pants down pat so I’m holding off on the cat sweater.
Conclusion
Have fun with parenting. They are only young once and what doesn’t kill them, or you, will make you stronger. Within reason, of course.
I have failed at being a morning person. It’s one of many things I’ve failed at. But, alas, we only have time for one today.
I have tried many times in many different ways to restructure my life. I want to be a morning person! I just can’t succeed at this one simple goal. Hell, I’ve been trying for 10 years. Now I’m old and it should just come naturally, but it doesn’t.
I have tried replacing habits. I have tried going to bed earlier. I have tried snoozing my alarm. I have tried getting up on the first alarm. I have tried an alarm clock that makes you do a math equation in order to shut the alarm off. My husband almost divorced me.
Failure is what I’m good at when it comes to mornings. It’s not just waking up that does me in. It’s dressing. It’s eating breakfast. It’s functioning in general. The main issue is just staying awake.
I do think I have narcolepsy, but my doctor won’t let me diagnose myself. He seems to disagree, although I’ve never been tested to my knowledge.
I have been an unintentional clusterfuck my whole life. Drama, tragedy, and stuff straight from a B movie will find its way to me even if I don’t leave my house. Even so, I can fix all that. Usually. Or time will fix it eventually.
My schedule is as follows. My first alarm goes off at 6:30 am. I hit snooze. I repeat this five or more times despite my intentions. At 7:05, my husband’s alarm goes off. I sit up and yell, “F**k!”
I rush around the room and trip multiple times while dressing. I run out the door 15 minutes late and make it to work five minutes late everyday without makeup. All my kids are late to school.
How do you fix a bad habit when it’s ingrained in you? This is not one of those articles where I tell you how I fixed my life at the end.
I genuinely can’t fix this about myself. Any tips or ideas would be appreciated even if I’ve probably already tried them all.
I am a very straight-laced, down to earth person with gypsy tendencies. I can also be described as a redneck with an affinity for leopard print. Also, as a tomboy who loves long, dangly earrings. Or an uptight prude, if you’re listening to my children. So, I’ve always scoffed at those who labeled themselves as empaths.
According to the dictionary, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. However, I don’t think most of us that use the word think of it as paranormal activity. It’s almost as if our souls sense the other person’s soul. Our souls communicate nonverbally.
I just thought I was sensitive and/or paranoid.
As I grew older, I noticed my ability to read the vibes and intentions of others got better and better. Suddenly, I felt the bad vibes of the people I had been friends with for years. I tried to ignore it and told myself I was being paranoid. But, after my vibes turned out to be correct on two back to back occasions, I started paying attention.
The first example was when I started thinking my first husband was cheating on me. I ignored my instinct. I called myself paranoid. I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache if I had paid attention.
The second time was when I felt a sudden coldness between myself and someone I had considered to be a best friend. She just stopped calling me. I knew instantly she wasn’t my friend anymore, I just didn’t know why. I found out just weeks later that she was badmouthing me to other friends. I realized that I had felt this coming. The reason didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t need people like that in my circle.
I can read the vibes of most people around me and once I focused on that, my sales at work far surpassed the quota I had always worked hard to barely meet. I started paying attention to all of my intuition. It has not led me astray yet, that I’m aware of.
I have found that when I go with my instinct I never regret it. And I don’t second-guess myself constantly. When I make that decision, I do it with confidence.
I have found myself being right so often now that it’s almost creepy.
I only wish that I had learned to listen to me forty years ago.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at the age of 22. What started out as just weight, bowel, and digestive issues have now progressed to include joint pain and little to no immune system. I catch every bug my six kids bring around me. I worry constantly that the next virus will be my last one. But, I still have stuff to do here before I go home. I have spent countless hours of my life trying to boost my immune system.
I have employed every method known to man to rev my immune system up. I have spent hours of my life hoping and praying I couldone day function like other people seem to do.
I know I am not alone in this battle, so I am noting things that finally seemed to help me. If I listed the items that were worthless and did nothing but take my money, then you would be here for days reading this.
Vitamin C is no joke
I noticed an improvement within eight weeks once I started taking Vitamin C on a daily basis. Especially, through last winter. At my sisters surgeon, I started taking the 500 mg supplement one can purchase at the drugstore. I definitely could tell a difference.
It is always more beneficial if you are able to absorb your vitamins and nutrition through your diet. But as I work 60 hours a week, and have several kids who eat almost only chicken nuggets, it is easier said than done. So, don’t feel guilty about supplements. Anything is better than nothing, said someone once.
Sunlight makes you look and feel good
Most have heard of the sun’s benefits to both physical and mental health, but a lot aren’t aware that, back in the 1800s and since, many hospitals and physicians recommended fresh air and sunshine for almost everything. Of course, they also prescribed slug treatment, cocaine, and heroin, so maybe this wasn’t the best point to go with.
Regardless, every time I get sick, I will go sit outside for at least 30 minutes per day in the fresh air and sunlight. I can almost feel my body soaking up the vitamins and giving my immune system a boost.
Exercise is terrible but it does work
Exercise is the bane of my existence. I hate it. People that run for fun, especially early in the morning, apparently have never, ever had fun in their entire life. Don’t get angry with me, I do realize that it is some sort of addiction or mental illness. So, I generally keep my mouth shut.
Hatred of physical exertion aside, I am still aware that it’s healthy for you. So in desperation, I do try to combine exercising and housework. I love to multitask! especially when I’m doing two activities I hate.
As much as I hate both of them, these sadistic rituals are good for my immune system. I always feel better after I exercise. And I have felt good the few times I have seen my house totally clean.
Diets do not have to be torture
It is true. Everything we have been told growing up by the FDA, seems to be the truth. I still am confused as to how people are able to an entire food pyramid in one day. I feel amazing if I can do it in a week or two. So, I do count my intake on a weekly basis.
Vegetables, fruits, and chicken soup are essential, especially when you are struggling physically. I also swear by chicken pho. I eat it every time I feel bad. It always helps. I almost feel like it would heal a broken bone, but I will not test that theory out.
Elderberry is the fruit we never knew we needed
I am still skeptical, but the elderberry came to my attention in 2018. That year was a particularly rough flu season and I just knew it was a matter of time before I caught it.
I ordered these supplements online and began taking them daily. I started with the syrup and then I progressed to the more advanced gummy version. I have not gotten the flu since then. I know that’s not a terribly long time, but I accredit this to the power of the elderberry.
Water tastes like nothing
I have spent half of my life hating water and avoiding it. It tastes like nothing and one sip will have you urinating 49 times in a row. I would rather be dehydrated than urinate myself to death. but I’m not 12 anymore, so I realized it was time for me to grow up and enjoy the taste of cool tasteless fluid. Can you tell that I will do anything to boost my immune system?
Taste aside, I admit nothing makes me feel better faster than being hydrated. It makes a huge and immediate difference in the way I feel. I believe it also powers up our immune systems. It literally is the magic cure for everything.
Whether you are sickly or just wanting to power up your immune system, I hope these tips are as effective for you as they have been for me.
I pray that anyone reading this, and everyone else also, is blessed with good health as we head into another season of doubt and uncertainty.
Opinions are like anuses; everybody has one. But my husband has banned me from bringing them up online or at parties. I really have no choice other than to bring these strange opinions up now, and then it will be out of my system. Please note that these are my opinions so I am not looking to argue. That is what Facebook is for.
News
I hear people talking crap about the propaganda that is spilled out of North Korea on a daily basis. Or China’s propaganda or Japan’s. The same people then sit down and watch our news for 10 to 12 hours straight. How do they not see that the news is our own propaganda? We are handed propaganda at every turn churches or news or media.
The American media has always had an agenda. They are a conglomerate capable of much more than what they actually do. They show only what they want to be seen and tell only what they want to tell.
What if, instead of inciting and dividing, they unified us as a people? Why do they divide us? Are the powers that be scared of a unified people? Hence the saying, divide and conquer?
I’m sorry in advance. No one, even the best boat builder around, could build a boat big enough to fit all the species in it. And then, he supposedly did it in his backyard. I stand by my argument that this story is a fable or parable and not a fact. Logic should support me on this. I will not pull out measurements to show this is not feasible.
Racism is real
Racism is real. White privilege is real. It doesn’t mean all lives don’t matter. It means all lives do matter, including black ones. It doesn’t mean we have to keep living like that. We can all come together and implement changes to change things. It will take a while, but all good and worthy things do.Be the change you want to see. But, first, you have to open your eyes.
Kylie’s Rants 