I have been a single parent to my children in one form or another most of my life. Turning my rowdy boys into good men falls squarely on my shoulders. I’m not going to lie. It is extremely overwhelming to have that all riding on me. I’ve been known to screw up a lot. And this is something that I just cannot get wrong.
I am blessed to have a good husband now, but my kids are older and I really could have used him about ten years ago.
How To Treat Women
My main goal in life is to make sure my boys treat the women, or significant other, in their life the way they should. Knowing they saw the way I was treated bothers me and I hope that they don’t resort to those methods when they are frustrated or angry.
And, God forbid, I ever find out if my boys have hit a woman or verbally abused her. My boys are sweet and smart young men so I really don’t think I have anything to worry about. But that’s what all stupid parents say.
How To Be Sensitive
My boys will never be shamed for crying or showing emotion. I want them to know from day one that they are able to process their emotions as they see fit and deal with them in their own manner.
Obviously, I will work hard to ensure that their manner of dealing with life and its ugly side is legal and healthy, but suppressing emotions will not be encouraged. They will be taught that real men are vulnerable.
They are just now getting used to having a man in the house again with us, but they see him cooking and cleaning as often as I do. He works shorter hours than I do so oftentimes, he does more than I do.
I want them to know that no matter how they choose to live their grown-up lives, they need to be able to handle all or most of the chores themselves. The ladies (or men or whoever) will thank me later because there is nothing sexier than watching a man do housework.
Having balance in every aspect of your life is a lesson it took me many, many years to learn. I hope especially that they understand the importance of balance in relationships.
Treating women, or whoever they may be with, the right way is hugely important. It’s also important that they know that in a two-person relationship someone always gives more than the other. So, logically, someone else also takes more than the other.
It’s important to set boundaries and not give away too much of your heart or life before it has been earned. I would hate to see them getting stomped all over because then I will be going to jail. And I don’t have the mouth for surviving in jail.
I hope to be able to teach my sons to be secure in their skin no matter if they are straight or homosexual. They will know not to judge anyone based on who they love, the color of their skin, or what their genitalia may be. This life is hard enough without grasping for reasons to hate our fellow man.
At the end of the day, I hope all of my children will know I did the best I could. I showed up every day, even when I didn’t want to or was sick. I know I made mistakes, but I am proud of all four of my children and I know that they know how much I love them. That much I can be sure of.