We have to clean, but we don’t have to like it
More cleaning tips and hacks from the laziest housekeeper in America or, quite possibly, the world. You are welcome in advance. If there is a lazy, fast way to clean something, I’ll find out about it. And then, I’ll write an article about it.
There are actually some people who enjoy cleaning. There are also weirdos that love going to the dentist. I enjoy the results, but not the action. That’s why I am always on the lookout for shortcuts. Other times, I just try to find a hiding spot or fake an injury of some nature.
1. Clean narrow vases, bottles, and other odd shaped items by filling them with hot water and dropping in a tablet of denture cleaner. At a certain age, especially in the south, we all inherit or buy knick knacks. I’m sure it’s no different in the other parts of the United States. Take your knicks, gather your knacks and throw them in a bucket of hot water with a few denture cleaners in it. Bam! Knick knacks are clean. Repeat for paddywacks. Finish, by giving dog a bone.
2. Garbage disposals stink like rotten food and trash cans if you don’t clean them. There are a lot of different ways to clean disposals. I tend to alternate between baking soda and putting lemon/lime rinds in to deodorize and freshen. Working in property management for the last twenty years I can assure you, without a doubt, that 90% of society do not know how to use a garbage disposal properly.
3. I hate grapefruit. When God was making that fruit I know he was planning a prank on someone. It looks delicious. It tastes like my ex-husband’s soul. But it does come in handy for scrubbing tubs and showers. Cut one in half because, let’s face it, no one will eat that on purpose. Sprinkle it with salt. I like to use Kosher because it is not as fine. Then scrub away those stubborn stains!
4. Some carpet stains can be removed with vodka. I like to share the vodka with the stain. I have fun and the stain gets removed!
5. Is your sink stained with rust or soap gunk? Clean it after pouring on a solution of coke and cologne. Mix about 1/2 and 1/2, it won’t take a large quantity, spray and wipe it up. I would not recommend using $100 bottle of cologne for this. But this article is not about finances, so do what you want to.
6. I hate cleaning ovens. It is, by far, my least favorite chore for a number of reasons. I try to make it less strenous on my forty year old back by removing the oven racks and putting them in the tub to soak in oven cleaner for a few hours.
7. You can remove water marks from the glass shower door by cleaning them with shaving cream. Shave your legs, or whatever may need shaving, and then clean the shower. I love things that are able to be used in multiple ways!
8. WD-40 is fantastic at getting out blood and other tough stains from carpet or any fabric at all. it comes in very handy if you have a family full of teenage boys. Grease and blood seems to be a constant with red dirt thrown in.
9. Run a few denture tablets through a coffee pot to clean the buildup and excess grossness that is hiding in places you haven’t even thought about looking yet.
I hope these tips will help you do this with half the effort. I know I put almost no effort in anything. Especially since turning forty. I’ve also started shouting, “Get off of my lawn!” sporadically.
If you know of any other good tips, please feel free to share them with me!